Sunday, February 5, 2012

Where Ive Been...

So, I got kidney stones, right? Well I was just reading the post I wrote about that ordeal and laughed out loud because I said "the hard part is over for now". HA. HA! I havent blogged in months because the hard part most certainly was NOT over. Ready for more?
So after my second surgery, I had a lot more pain from the stents. A LOT more. I spent the next nearly 10 weeks in and out of the hospital. I got several more stones. I had a few more stays in the hospital to manage pain and heal from infections and dehydration. And for the last few weeks of my pregnancy, I was in the ER every 3 days or so for fluids and pain medicine.
I wasnt able to take care of Paxton on my own. Most days, my mom would pick him up early in the morning and take him to her house. That was the worst. I still have the image in my mind of seeing Pax buckled in the back seat of my mom's blue Tahoe, watching him drive away from my window. I would spend my days in my recliner watching tv or laying in my bed looking on Pinterest (love Pinterest!). I wasnt ever able to eat much and getting fluids down was near impossible which isnt a good thing, considering I was in my third trimester. I literally had to force down everything and set reminders to drink water. Some days I was super nauseous from the pain, most days though I literally had no appetite or instincts to eat.
The stents hurt worse and worse as my growing baby took up more room inside me. I couldnt sleep most nights. I couldn't pick up Pax. I walked around hunched over because everything hurt so bad. I managed the pain, somewhat, with narcotics at safe dosages for pregnancy. I literally had to take Percocet 30 minutes before I could even get out of bed in the morning. To be honest, I was afraid every time I took anything that I was hurting my unborn baby. With Paxton's pregnancy, I took Tylenol one time. This was such a different experience. General anesthesia twice as well as countless IV pain meds and oral pain meds. But I knew my baby was ok. I had felt that very deeply on many occasions.
here are some of the meds I was taking on a regular basis. 

During my 4th hospital stay (34 weeks, I think), I had steroid injections to help mature the baby's lungs. We (me, my family and ALL the millions of physicians working on my case) were sure I would deliver early. The steroids would help the baby be much stronger if he were to come sooner than he should.
Taken from Jon's phone. Im pretty embarrassed of this, but hey, I was drugged, prego and had been in a hospital bed for 3 days so thats my excuse

From the beginning of all this, the collective goal was to get me to 36 weeks. At first, Jon and I were certain that would be a piece of cake. As the time went on, we went from saying "we can make it one more week!" to "can we make it another day?" Prayers were answered though, and I welcomed in my 36th week of pregnancy with a baby shower. I was so thankful to have reached full term. The night of my shower, I actually felt better than I had in weeks. Heavenly Father knew I needed a break to prepare for what was coming next I think.
The day I hit my 37th week mark, I also hit the wall. I knew my body was done. I honestly didnt think I would have any strength left in my muscles or soul to push during labor. I went in to see my midwife, Janice Bovee. Jon was working that morning so my mom took me. On the way, she told me "Lisa, Heavenly Father is telling me and Jon and you, thats its time to let go and allow this baby to come". When I got to the office and sat down with Janice, I could barely speak because all I wanted to do was cry. But I managed to say "Im sorry, but I just dont think I can do it any more". I asked her to admit me to the hospital so I could rehydrate, have pain relief and sleep. She laughed and said "Oh Lisa, I didnt think we would be here. I was sure this baby was coming at week 32. We ALL did!"
From there my mom took me to the hospital. I walked straight up to the OB floor and said "Hi" to the nurses, who I now knew all by name. One of them actually said "are we finally doing this?"
I'll continue in my "birth story" that I'll write in a separate post.
Im so thankful for all the love and support I felt. For the prayers and fasting, for the priesthood blessings, for the countless meals brought over, for all the rides to various places, for the long visits in the hospital and for all the help taking care of Pax. It was hard. Really hard. But with all that, I was able to make it through.


The Chambers said...

oh Lisa this really hit me. I'm so so sorry you had to go through this. I'm so glad it's over and you have a sweet new angel to hold. You'll be in my prayers for a quick recovery nonetheless. I can't wait to hear more of the birth story and see your new baby! CONGRATULATIONS! HUGS!

Nat said...

Cried. Of course I cried. That was a dark period of life wasn't it. I know it's still hard but I am so impressed with your ability to see the positive and to just be thankful for your three amazing boys. :) So glad to have you as my sister!!!

Grace Hart said...

Wow Lisa, I can't believe how incredibly hard this has all been for you. Can't wait to see pictures of your new addition and hope things are better now!